Due to key player absences and the fragility of our squad particularly in the batting department we were fielding a slightly weakened team. We had a couple of debutants today, Ardil a new addition to our pace line up and Afzal builder to the stars. Athar unavailable. Rumour has it that the Darby and Joan club were having an open day. Atif H was out as well. He claimed to have sustained a back injury a few days ago. Funny how he managed an hour in the golf range the night before with displaying signs of discomfort. Aumran being an expert in the field immediately recognised Atifs condition of spouse induced house arrest.
The long drive in was blighted by heavy traffic and the now accustomed negativity by Dr T. Fortunately with over 10 years marriage to my name I have mastered the skill of appearing to be listening whilst my mind transports me to another place. Hasib the IT whizkid was having trouble operating his Sat Nav and got lost trying to find the ground. We all arrived a little later than planned.
The ground was surrounded by a golf course set in lush green surrey countryside and it was a glorious British summer’s day. The perfect conditions for willow on leather. Regular as clockwork Hasib won the toss. Statistically speaking you are more likely to win the lottery than a toss with Hasib. I guess it is difficult for the opposing captains to distinguish between the words heads and tails when pronounced in a thick northern accent. Being polite gentlemen they just accept Hasibs jump for joy when the coin lands. We put them into bat even though we were still waiting for Adam and Charitha to arrive!
Our fearsome pace duo Atif B and Chanuska set to work in devastating fashion. Quickly dispatching their openers. The first one went LBW, he did not go quietly, giving Umpire Grier some lip on the way out because he believed the ball had touched his bat before his pad. Adam in unsympathetic mood directed the batsmen back to the pavilion. Hasib then took a sharp low catch in slips of Atif B’s fine bowling. I haven’t seen Hasib move so quickly since they announced an eat as much as you like offer at Krispy Kreme. The openers managed to pick up one more wicket each before our new paceman, Ardil was called into play. With some rapid deliveries he managed to pick up another early wicket as the ball rose on the batsmen who edged it for wicket keeper Charitha to take a sharp catch above his head. The next ball toppled the batsman’s bails and he was on a hatrick. They were 64 for 6 and we anticipating an easy victory and an early return home. Surely with their number 8 in and o ur bowlers on top we could get them all out for below 100 or 120 max. I think this excitement
detracted us from the job at hand. What followed was a spate of shambolic and lackadaisical fielding and the now accustomed poor umpiring decisions to gift the opposition a further easy 40 runs to reach their ton. Charly who had a nightmare in the field last week performed better. He seemed to be enjoying Chanuska’s sloppy fielding errors. Needless to say we had our regular visit from the cramp monster- this time Afzal was the victim.
Eventually we had bit of luck when Adam misfielded a drive from their batsmen who tried a quick second run only to be run out after a sharp throw in by Atif B and stumping by Hasib. Their 7th wicket partnership had put together a gritty stand of 60. We need to learn from this. From our bowling being on top the tables had turned. Their tail end smashed all our bowlers around allowing them to reach a respectable 185 all out off 48 hovers.
It was our turn to bat and Aumran and Adam were sent in. Our version of bill Gates AKA Hasib and Athar( expected due to advanced age) were struggling to operate the electronic scoreboard. Their opening bowlers were as hostile as ours and gave both the batsmen a good working over. One of their bowlers looked particularly venomous whizzing the ball around various parts of the batsmen’s anatomy. Aumran has not received such soft tissue injuries since he got disciplined by her indoors for failing to put the seat down after using the toilet. The same bowler was highly excitable in his appealing and umpire Grier was being put under some pressure. Our openers were dispatched quickly. Next in was Charly, he had the chance to be a hero and resurrect his reputation as a batsman. Today was not going to be the day for heroics from him as he was given out in bewildering circumstances. Another sharp deliver seemed to catch something on the way to the wicket keepers gloves. Charly indic ated it was his thigh pad, umpire Grier was not sure. The opposition were appealing vigorously so the square leg umpire was consulted. Somehow even though he was in no position to see he was certain a touch on the bat was made and Charly was returned to the pavilion with yet another failed batting performance.
Once again we were depending on Sammy to rescue us. To his credit he performed well comfortably handling the bowling that had so troubled his contemporaries until his wicket fell. He had scored just under 5o. Charitha and Afzal contributed to a slight stabilisation of our innings to get us to around 100 for 6 before both of them went in quick succession. Our tail end failed to imitate the important job that the opposition tail end achieved and we were skittled out 50 short of our target.
We need to learn from this defeat. First XI cricket requires application and concentration for the duration.